


How Far We've Come

by Dreary_Giraffe



Category: Good Omens (TV), Good Omens - Neil Gaiman & Terry Pratchett
Genre: 3-Card Switch, Abusive Parents, Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Anxiety, Divorce, F/M, Humor, M/M, The Bentley Can Fly, WIP, Wingfic, Winter Stop Stalking Me, just trust me on this one, kind of, no beta we die like men, space
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-07-12
Updated: 2019-09-26
Packaged: 2020-06-26 20:56:40
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 10
Words: 7,017
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19776262
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Dreary_Giraffe/pseuds/Dreary_Giraffe
Summary: WIP;;It was exactly a year after The Start Of The Rest Of Their Lives. As a way of celebrating, Anathema and Newt host a party! Unfortunately, the truth about the 3-cards switch comes out. All of a sudden Aziraphale and Crowley are in danger, and the only way to save them is for Adam and Warlock to work together to find their missing counterpart.But what if their missing piece was right in front of their eyes the whole time?





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Another story, if you can't tell I'm a little obsessed with Good Omens right now (lol),  
> I was inspired by my Good Omens Amino chat group, Thanks you guys!  
> Please note that I don't live in London, or even in Europe, so I may get some things wrong. Apologies if I do, please point them out in the comments!
> 
> Enjoy!

Adam stepped into the quaint cottage, peering around as his friends came in behind him. It was a few days after his twelfth birthday, and exactly a year since Satan himself had risen from the earth and tried to tell Adam he was his father. Of course, he didn't know the details, but he knew he was no son of _Satan_.

He made his way around the kitchen, grabbing a cup of punch, going into the back living room, where everyone was chatting.

Many of the faces he had grown to know more accustomed to, but some faces he had only seen once. His friends behind him dispersed into the room, leaving him alone to mingle. He said a quick greeting to Anathema and Newt, who were talking to an older couple he had only seen once, exactly one year ago. 

He walked over to where the famous couple were standing.

"Ah, hello, Adam!" Aziraphale said when he first saw Adam walk towards them.

After apparently 6,000 years of neglecting feelings, the apparent Angel and Demon got together. Of course it was no big surprise, and when Aziraphale had confessed to Anathema, she had promptly told him he was the last person to figure it out.

The two shifted, parting where they once were facing away from him, and behind them, was a kid Adam had never seen before.

He had normal facial features really- freckles and dirty blonde hair with streaks, and light tan skin. A little short, and skinny, with a large grey and blue hoodie.

Of course, Adam didn't really notice any of that- no, he was more focused on the oversized space helmet the kid was wearing.

"Oh, this is Darby!" Aziraphale introduced the kid, waving him forward. 

"Uh, hello..." Darby replied shyly, gaze shifting from his eyes to the right.

"He helps work at my bookshop, and since school was out, and his family is working late, I suggested to bring him here!" Aziraphale said, folding his hands behind his back.

"Don't worry, he knows everything. The smart bugger dug his nose in too deep and asked questions we couldn't answer without the truth," Crowley added, with a serene shrug.

"Then I'm guessing you know who I am?" Adam looked from the dark sunglasses to the bright blue eyes behind a glass visor.

"Well, Aziraphale did just call you Adam," Darby said with a shy smile, looking back at him. Adam smiled a little at that.

"Do you know who I really am, though?" Adam tried again; smart, but also thick-skulled at the same time. Just like the couple behind him.

"O-oh, yeah, uh, Satan's son, Anti-Christ or whatever," He said, his fingers going up to grab at the bottom strip of his helmet, pushing up his visor slightly. 

"..Nice helmet," Adam finally commented, smile raising a little more.

"Ah, thanks, I got it for my birthday," The kid blushed, tightening his grip on his helmet a little.

"Well, you kids have fun!" Aziraphale patted Darby on the back and turned off with Crowley, walking over to a secluded corner. Adam watched Darby's face drop a little at being left alone, as if they were the one thing he was holding on to to keep him sane.

"You want to meet my friends?" He jerked his head behind him in a ' follow me' gesture, and Darby nodded.

Adam introduced Darby to his friends, and Darby filled in the cracks. He got along well with Wensleydale, not so much Pepper. Brian he seemed adamant about.

"Adam's birthday was a few days ago, too. Maybe you have the same birthday?" Pepper asked when Darby told her about his helmet. The kid seemed to really like space.

"Well, uh, I doubt it, the odds are very high," Darby tried to say, almost reluctant, Adam thought.

"Doesn't matter the odds, just tell us your birthday," Pepper said with more attitude that Darby thought needed.

"U-um... June 3rd," Darby said, voice soft.

"That's my birthday, too!" Adam said, looking at Darby. His head turned up.

"Really?" He said in surprise.

"Told you," Pepper butted in, a sly grin on her face.

"Wasn't there more people in the story?" Darby questioned his new friend. It has been about an hour since Adam had gotten here, and he was getting a little bored.

"Like, more Angels and stuff," He tried.

"Well, they were the bad guys right? Why would they be invited," Adam replied.

"Yeah, you're right," 

Anathema had started to play old songs that weren't really from one era of music- just in the 1900's some time. Crowley seemed to like all the songs.

"It's weird how our birthdays line up," Adam said. He'd been thinking about it for a while.

"Yeah, I don't really get it either," Darby replied. "Just pure chance, I suppose,"

"Where were you born? You sound like Anathema," Adam said, turning to look at the other boy.

"I was born in Pennsylvania, in America, and lived there until I was 9," He replied. "Then I lived in Poland for about a year before moving here and meeting Aziraphale," 

_That explains the accent, then._

"Why did you move around so much?" He asked, looking forward into the room again. He didn't mean to intrude, but he was curious.

"Ah...D-divorce," He said, downcasting his glance and grabbing at his helmet again.

" Oh, " 

"I lived with my mom for... t-too long in America, then moved to my dad's. But once my brother left, he took me in, so now I stay with him,"

" I'm sorry, " That was all he could say right now- he didn't know what else to do.

"No, no, it's.. I'm fine," 

Adam looked over again, and saw how his eyes shone with unshed tears slightly as he stared dead ahead at nothing.

"I'm getting some air,"

Darby stepped away from Adam, going over to the door into the backyard, that exposed the dark evening sky.

He watched for a moment as the body just stood there, then he turned away.

_I wonder how I was put with my family if Satan is really my dad._

It had been two hours since Adam had gotten to the party, and if he was bored before, he may as well have no brain at all now. His brain was striving for anything interesting to think about when this had popped up in his head.

He didn't know much about what went down, other then the location and that Crowley was involved.

_Guess I know who to ask then._

Adam walked up to the couple still in the corner, enjoying each other's company.. Rather closely, Adam thought. He brushed it off.

"How did you deliver me to my family?" Crowley bristled slightly at the sudden question.

"U-u-uh, well... Really it's not that important," Crowley didn't really have an answer to provide for that, or, at least, not one that didn't bruise his ego slightly.

"Well, I'd like to know," He said with a nonchalant shrug.

"Oh, he deserves to know, Crowley," Aziraphale was always on his side, ready to defend him. He rather liked the Angel for that.

"Well... I was given you by some Demon buddies of mine, then went down to the church or whatever that you needed to go and dropped it off, really," He said, trying to just make the talk something to casually brush off.

"But then something happened, right? There were three kids that got mixed up?"

Crowley did his odd stammer that meant he was at a loss for words, pulling back slightly.

"..Yes that's what happened," Aziraphale supplied for Crowley "Crowley gave the wrong child to the wrong family," 

"It wasn't me, it was that stupid nun!" He snapped, but Aziraphale just smiled at him.

"What happened to the third baby?" Adam said, and Aziraphale caught his drift.

"Oh- if you're implying that Darby-"

"No, I know he was born in America, but it still seems odd," He said with a shrug. "What about the other kid? What was his name?"

"Ah, Warlock. Feisty young boy, he was," Aziraphale reminisced.

"Miss him a little," Crowley admitted.

"You would like him,"

It had been 3 hours since Adam had first entered the party, and although it was fun seeing everyone together again, he was very glad it was over. He got on his bike, waving his friends goodbye. He biked home, and slipped into bed right as his mom came in to check on him.

He had gotten Darby's number, and he set it beside his bed on the floor, as Dog came up from under the bed onto the bed.

"Hey, Dog. I made a new friend today," He said with a grin at the tired animal, ruffling the fur on his head.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know this isn't as popular as my other fics, but I still feel like uploading onto it; someone bookmarked it, and I really like writing this, so I decided why not?  
> I'll upload maybe every other day, maybe every two days. Depends on how tired I am (I make these at night)
> 
> Enjoy!

After Aziraphale came home from the party, he expected to come home, make a cup of Cocoa, and read the night away, having no worries about the night.

He didn't expect to be almost blow off his feet by the overpowering _Power_ that leaked from his bookshop when he opened his door, or the horrible stench that followed.

He somehow made it through the force, and stepped wearily forward, scanning the shop for the source of the said force and the stench of trash.

What he _definitely_ didn't expect was to see two of the _most powerful being in the universe besides The Almighty and Satan himself;_ Pollution and Famine of The Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse.

 _The stench must have been coming from Pollution, then,_ Aziraphale safely assumed.

"Hello, Aziraphale," Pollution said, turning where they were standing with their back to him. "We have some important news for you," Their voice remained ever calm and face stone hard.

"Heaven needs you back immediately, no buts," Famine added, stepping around his friend to face the Angel better.

"They say your time is up for weaseling away from them," He broke into a toothy grin, teeth still slightly pointed. "And we were given the honours to retrieve you,"

"What do you mean, _retrieve?"_ Aziraphale asked, taking a pointed step back away from the lingering beings.

"He means that we get to brake the news to you, and bring you up. I thought Angels were smart," Pollution broke off.

 _Obviously you've never met Gabriel._ Aziraphale kept his thoughts inside, still staring at the two in the room in front of him, using all he could to not run as far away as he could from them.

"Don't worry, this won't hurt. Or, at least, not for very long," Famine reached out and placed a hand on the terrified Angel, Pollution doing the same to his other.

Pain shot through his shoulders, and he let out a gaping breath as pure sickly hunger shot through him, and suddenly he was standing on solid white ground, staring up at a group of four he's gotten to know too well.

* * *

After Crowley dropped off Aziraphale at the bookshop, he went straight home, expecting to get comfortable on his couch and watch M*A*S*H* all night, maybe make a cuppa or two.

He definitely didn't expect to have to take a few steps back after he opened the door as the pure smell of _nothingness,_ the absolute _lack of life_ drenched his apartment.

Regaining his balance, he knew only one thing could make this much power; Death himself had decided to stop by for a quick quip with some tea.

After a step forward, he sighed as he found _she_ was with him as well.

War and Death were waiting on the opposite side of the room, standing there as if they were waiting for him for a while.

"Did you wipe your feet at least?" Crowley snarled at the two in front of him. He was, in no way, a Demon that enjoyed fighting, but he was very willing to do so of it meant he could just _relax_ after a long night of _talking to people._

"Crawley, you must go back down to Hell right now," War said, taking a placid step forward. Her face said nothing, maybe hints of annoyance, although that was to be expected from her.

"And why is that?" Crowley remarked, crossing his arms in a defensive pose he hoped looked like it made him look like he didn't care.

"Do not argue with us. Hell has decided your fate," Death said, lingering ominously where he stood, before taking a step forward with War.

"You will be brought to justice," 

They both grabbed his shoulder at the same time, and Crowley almost buckled as empty hatred passed through his body, pain shooting up his neck as it snapped up, and he was left staggering in a familiar dirty hallway.


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Enjoy!

Newton was spending a nice day alone; Anathema needed to go out for a while into the town for something or another witch related, and Newt decided to stay home, letting her take her vacation, completely seeing through her cover story. _Was he really that hard to be around?_

He was watching an episode of Drunk History on the one telly they had when the phone rang.

Not expecting much, he picked up the receiver.

"Hello?"

_"Is Ms. Anathema Device there?"_

The shaky voice of a kid rattled through the telephone, tone frightened and desperate.

"Ah- well, no, but-"

_"Oh, OK, sorry!"_

The line went flat; the kid had hung up on him. _How many children does Anathema know?_

Newt placed the receiver back, and thought about how the kid had a flat accent, and the use of the word OK.

_How many of them are American?_

He didn't think much of it again until a few moment later, the phone rang again.

"Hell-"

_"Hello, yes, I-I'm sorry about before, is this Newt?"_

Newton shuddered at the name.

_How many are American and know to call him Newt?_ _!_

"I-yes, sorry, who is this?" He was very lost at the moment, and had to make sure he understood fully what was happening.

The kid audibly sighed at hearing it was, indeed, Newt.

_"I'm-I'm so sorry I hung up on you, there's been an emergency, have you seen Aziraphale or Crowley recently?"_ His voice was horse with emotion, as if he had just been crying. Or screaming.

"I'm afraid not, no- what happened, who are you?" Nerves were building up, and Newt was getting scared.

 _"I'm a friend of theirs, and when I came over to help, they were just gone, I couldn't - and it smelled_ horrible _, and-"_

"Please, relax, I'm sure they're just out at lunch, and... Forgot to take out the trash?" His attempts to calm the boy did little to soothe his nerves, as his words fell limp in the air; he knew that he didn't really mean it; thousands of different thoughts of what was happening to them raced through his head.

_"They would have called. They would have told me,"_

"Who are you?" His voice was edging dangerously close to annoyed and he knew it, but right now he didn't care. Something has happened to his friends. "Who are you, what happened, can you see where the stench could be coming from, does the air feel different?"

When the line paused, Newt was afraid they had hung up again.

_"It feels... Dirty. And almost... hungry?"_

"How can it feel hungry and dirty in a room?"

 _"I-I don't know! I don't know a lot of things right now, and I really really want to know! Please just.. "_ The voice turned quiet, away from the yelling it was once spewing.

_"Help me. I need them to be OK,"_

"Alright, kid, where are you, what's your name?" Newt was in Dick Turpin, having taken the unpluggable phone with him.

_"I'm Darby, and I'm at Aziraphale's bookshop in SoHo,"_

_Darby._

The name sounded familiar, like he had heard it recently. 

"Darby, alright, I'm on my way, just stay calm, alright?" He tried to sound supporting, but his voice wavered, and it was obvious he was trying to ground himself as well.

Just then, a slam was heard from the other receiver, and a scream, and the line fell flat with a crackle.

He sighed with frustration, and put down the receiver. _Shouldn't be driving while on the phone anyways._

He pressed down harder on the gas.


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry I haven't uploaded; I'm a little sick, and I had a sleepover recently, so I couldn't upload at my usual nightly schedule.  
> Enjoy!

Newt burst into the bookshop 15 minutes after the line had fallen flat, and found the kid Aziraphale and Crowley had brought to the party last night giving said bookshop owner a cup of Cocoa. He looked rather shaken up, and his once pristine clothes were covered in dust. There was also a large hole in the ceiling.

_Huh._

"So, essentially, they made you human, " Newt said, leaning on the armchair that he had sat in while Aziraphale told his story.

"Well, I still have my wings, although... Although they are not _Angel_ wings, nor Demon, mind you, and I am still immortal, but.. I cannot use any Miracles or anything of that sort, yes," Aziraphale replied, taking a shaky sip of Cocoa.

"You think this happened to Crowley?"

Glass shattered on the floor, and Darby jumped, a little too high for just surprise, but Newt pushed it out of his mind, instead focused on the fact Aziraphale had just dropped his cup onto the floor.

"Oh, God, what if it did?!" Aziraphale was up out of his seat in a second, snapping his fingers in hope for a miracle to get rid of the stain, just so that...

"...Ah. Right. No... No Miracles," Aziraphale looked defeated saying this, looking down at the glass shattered around him. Realization of... Something dawned on his face.

"Oh- oh, Darby, I'm so sorry, I didn't -" 

Newt was very lost, looking between the kid who was shaking and grabbing relentlessly at the brim of his helmet, and the Ang- Dem-... _Aziraphale._

He didn't want to seem like an idiot, so he just nonchalantly took a sip of his tea, and placed it on the table in front of him.

"We'll just leave it for now- let's go check on Crowley," Newt tried to intervene, his voice edging onto anxious more than confused.

The space kid, Darby, decided to go with them. 

Most likely to get away from the broken glass.

Newt assumed it to be some kind of trigger; like, he was kidnapped by an abductor who used glass things to stab him with.

Alright, maybe not that.

When they got to the apartment, the trio raced up the steps into Crowley's room, and found him wings out, with a look of triumph in his face. When he turned to the door, his grin spread wider.

"Aziraphale! Oh, Angel, those idiots down in Hell decided to make me an Angel!" His eyes glistened as he grabbed Aziraphale's shoulders and gave him a kiss, pulling back with a pop from the flustered ... Aziraphale.

"A-Angel- Crowley- They're not," He strived to find words, staring at the wings he now fanned out for the other two in the room to see- they were a sleek gray, nothing like the black Newt had assumed they would be.

"Crowley, you aren't turning into an Angel," Aziraphale finally managed.

With a shift of shoulders, Aziraphale unfurled his wings, showing off the same grey Crowley's fashioned. The 'Demon's' face dropped.

"I-I- ..what? Does that mean-" Crowley cut short.

"No, Dear, I'm not falling," Aziraphale said, resting a soft hand on Crowley's shoulder.

"Heaven and Hell decided to come together one last time and screw us over again, huh?" Crowley scowled, resting his head on his hand which was also resting on an armrest as he rested, sprawled across his (resting) thrown.

"I'm afraid so," Aziraphale replied.

"This time, they made sure there really is an 'our side',"

"...Your side could be Earth," Newt reasoned, hoping that sounded more wise to them then it did to him.

Crowley just laughed at that. 

"How could _Humans_ help Celestial beings be able to perform _magic_ again?"

Aziraphale froze at that.

"Maybe there _is_ a way to check,"

"Angel, don't be ridiculous, how could they help,"

Aziraphale seemed to be getting more exited at the minute.

"I just need to get into contact with that lovely lady down in Tadfield, make some background checks, get in contact with a certain Archangel..."

Aziraphale paced over to the phone on Crowley's desk.

"Get in contact with Warlock and Adam..." 

He dialed a quick few numbers and the phone buzzed.

"And kidnap a child," He smiled at the three, looking on aloofly at him as the phone picked up.


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> aaah sorry i haven't posted,  
> i've been really sick lately, sorry about that.
> 
> for more of my Good Omens writing, I'm starting another series  
> but it's really angsty, so be warned.  
> check that out if your interested
> 
> enjoy

Mary picked up the phone, after weaving around piles of loose paperwork in the back of the check-in area. 

"Hello, this is Mary Hodges of-"

_"Hello, yes, Mary Hodges, past alias of Sister Mary Loquacious of the Chattering Order of St. Beryl?"_ A soft southern accent cut her off.

She stuttered at the mention of her old name.

"I-I-well, I-s-sorry, who is this?" She finally managed.

_"Just someone wondering about the inquiries of something that went down twelve years and a couple days ago,"_ He replied, nonchalantly at best.

"How do you know about that?!" She was practically obliged to answer the questions now, since she was reeled in by the drama of the situation.

_"A friend on the inside, quick saving of the earth, the likes,"_

"You know Master Crowley?" She slammed the glass window shut blocking her off from an angry customer and the inside of the check-in.

_"Well, yes, we did stop Armageddon together, "_

"I would have though he had wanted Armageddon! I mean, I know it didn't happen, I'm still standing alive after all, but _him?_ Also, again, _Who are you?_ "

_"The Principality Aziraphale, ta,"_

"An Angel? So an Angel and a Demon get together, stop the apocalypse, and part ways like high school?"

_"Not part ways, no, in fact we're rather close, close in a way you humans tend to say-"_

There was a pause, as if someone off the line was saying something to the Angel.

Then they cleared their throat.

_"So sorry about that, could you help us with our inquiries still?"_

"Well, I suppose, seeing you know Master Crowley so well," She have herself a knowing smile, as if they could see that she knew what they meant.

_"Ah, well, when the switch did go on, what happened to the.. Extra child?"_

"Well, I believe we ship them across the pond to a nice family willing to take the little tyke in," 

_"Ah, but, do you know where, exactly?"_

"Uh.., "

_"It's alright if you don't, really, it's just.. Very important.. to us... "_

His voice trailed off.

"I'm.. I'm afraid I don't know where, no," Her voice subsided.

_"Well.. Thank you, "_ The voice sounded sad, but in a way that made her feel like it wasn't that bad a thing she didn't know.

_No one's lives were at stake or anything._ She reasoned, opening the glass window again to set a time for the now furious customer across from her.


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hey, consistent scheduling again  
> what a surprise

  1. Aziraphale out the phone down, a look of exasperation on his face.



"What- who was that?" Crowley said, still fumbling.

"That nice Nun we talked to a year ago," Aziraphale stated.

"W-why were you calling her? What are you looking for? Why?" Crowley stood up from his throne.

"I figured, I suppose, that if we got the three children separated twelve years ago together again, we could, uh, use them as a way to fix... This," Aziraphale gestured vaguely at the wings.

"So you were calling that twat about it?"

"Yes, I suppose I was,"

"I-I'm still confused," Newt cut in behind them.

"Ssshut it," Crowley snapped back at him, maybe a little harshly, seeing the way Newt and Darby flinched back at the hiss.

He didn't give it a second thought after that, as he turned back to the ex-Angel.

"Do you even know this would work?" He sighed at him.

"I-I, well, no..." He said, truthfully.

"But we could always check," 

"How would we do that, Angel?"

"It means, unfortunately, contacting a _certain Archangel_ to help us,"

"...For fuck's sake, no," 

Crowley watched as a bright white light flashed through the room, and the sigil embedded into the bookshop's floor lit up.

All four of them had crammed into the compact vicinity that is Dick Turpin, and drove back to Aziraphale's bookshop, despite Crowley's clear feelings about the situation.

The light died down, and there in the middle of the sigil stood the one and only Gabriel.

Newt dropped his tea, and fumbled to catch it before it fell onto the ground.

"...Well," Gabriel smiled his famous _what the actual fuck do you want_ smile.

"What a surprise," He looked around the shop, looking at the startled Newton, anxious Aziraphale, fearful Darby and, quite frankly, tired Crowley.

"Aziraphale, I hope you have a good reason for summoning me, in front of humans no less," He stepped forward, placing a hand on Aziraphale's shoulder that probably landed a little to hard, but he discarded the thought as he stepped last him.

Aziraphale whipped around.

"Gabriel-" 

"Hello," Gabriel crouched beside Darby. He stated into the Archangel's purple eyes, not knowing how to react.

"Your one of the kid ones, aren't you? Short, not covered with ageing blemishes, scrawny, the likes,"

"I-I-I'm Darby," 

"Darby?"

His eyes trailed from his eyes (much to Darby's delight) to his helmet.

"What's this?" He reached for his helmet, like a child seeing something new for the first time.

"Alright, back off, cunt," Crowley finally snapped, realizing the situation a little late. He stepped forward in front of the kid, unfurling his wings to block him more.

Gabriel stood up, straightening his jacket, as he stares down the former Demon.

"I can't say hello?"

"Not to him, you sure can't,"

"Gabriel, please, we summoned you for a reason," Aziraphale said, behind them.

Gabriel still stared down Crowley.

"And what reason is that?" He said cooly.

"I-We think we've figured out a way to.. Fix all of this,"

Gabriel let out a small laugh, still eyeing down the determined redhead in front of him.

"There is now way to Fix this, Aziraphale," 

"Oh, yeah, well what if we found all three of them worms that was the whole reason this apocalypse was screwed up, and got 'em together to stop you and your lot?" Crowley sneered, snapping again for talking the way he did to his love.

Gabriel just fell silent, and something odd fell across his face.

"Find them?" 

"Yea!"

Disbelief coloured his face, along with.. Humour?

"If you haven't figured it out yet, I'm not giving any hints,"

Crowley squinted at him, as if that would do anything against him, if he could see it in the first place behind his sunglasses.

"What?"

"Oh, you all really all idiots," Gabriel laughed to himself, back pedaling into the circle (not before hitting a startled Aziraphale on the way back first),

"W-what? What does that mean?" Aziraphale said.

"Will our idea work?"

Gabriel just laughed once more before another bright light filled the air, and he was gone.

"...What just happened?" Newt said.


	7. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> screw headcanons,  
> my bois aren't Ace this time.
> 
> (translation: warning! talk of smexy times ahead!)  
> ((((I REPEAT, TALK  
> I'm too Asexual for this-))))

Darby rubbed the sleep from his eyes.

"Are you guyss almost done yet?" He slurred, leaning into the arm of one of Aziraphale's armchairs he was in.

His space helmet was discarded, next to his feet on the floor, as the Angel and Demon shuffled around the shop, checking over book after book in their attempts to find _The_ book, the only book that could tell them the truth,

but, in all honesty, Darby was pretty sure said book didn't exist.

"He's right, Angel, we've been at it for 5 hours now," Crowley said, slumping against a bookshelf.

"No-no, I'm sure there's a book in here somewhere that can tell us-" Aziraphale said, annoyance starting to edge into his voice.

Newt appeared from the kitchen with four cups of Cocoa.

"Hot Chocolate!" Darby said, energy quickly regained as he stumbled over his helmet to get the chocolatey goodness.

"Hot chocolate?" Newt repeated, a little surprised by the whole scenario.

"Oh- do you guys... Call it something else?"

" _We_ call it Cocoa, but it doesn't matter, kid," Crowley said, stalking up to the two, ruffling the kid's hair as he grabbed two mugs.

"Although I'd prefer coffee,"

Newton paled a little.

"I-I can always go make some coffee if-" He started.

"No, it's fine, I'll just Miracle it into coffee, no big deal," Crowley stepped in front of the frantic Angel, forcing him to stop for a moment inbetween the narrow halls of the books.

"Drink some cocoa, love,"

He thrust one of the mugs into Aziraphale's hands, and he accepted with a tired sigh.

"I suppose it wouldn't hurt," He chided before taking a sip.

Darby stepped into a hall further down, relishing the dark halls and shadowy crooks. He always liked it when it was dark. He didn't like complete pitch black, no- that was more terrifying than anything- but he liked darkness and shadows to hide in in general.

"What are we looking for again?" He asked, skimming the books with his eyes.

To anyone, these books might all look the same, but to people like Aziraphale and Darby, who took books seriously, every brown cover was a different shade- more orange, more red, more grey- and every title was a different gold, one word rubbed off more than another on the spine, another extra page for an omage at the beginning.

But right now, when Darby's brain was half-on from the sugar in the hot cho- Cocoa, and half-off from how tired he was, they all looked mushed into dark brownies in the shadowy light.

He felt his phone buzz in his pocket.

_Where are you?_

His brother, Nimbus, had texted him.

He sighed as he sent a quick reply.

"I think I have to go soon," he rounded the corner to meet a sight which he quickly looked away from, searching out Newt to get away from the two lovers as he came back town the hall he had just went up.

Newton was sitting in the armchair Darby was just sitting in.

"Did you hear me?" He asked.

"H-huh?" Newt seemed to break out of his train of thoughts. "What?"

"I have to go soon," Darby said again. "My brother's coming,"

"How long will he take?"

"Fifteen to twenty minutes max,"

"So... You gonna go talk to Aziraphale or..," 

Darby shuddered as he remembered the sight. Aziraphale, pushed against a wall, with Crowley _kissing him on the lips_.

"Do you even know what they're doing back their?"

"...Making out?" 

" _Yes!_ " Darby sputtered. Newton just laughed.

"So uh... Where are you from?"

"Pennsylvania," Something flickered in his eyes. "A small town called York," 

" ..Was it nice? "

"I'm sure the landscaping was, yes, but I didn't really notice,"

"They had the most beautiful night stars..."

"You could actually see them- that's a good sign," he smiled to himself.

"That's about the only good thing I remember about America,"

Newt felt very intrusive in that very moment.

"I-I've.. Lived here so my life, never even left the UK, so.."

Darby nodded.

Aziraphale rounded the corner, jacket slightly off skew, looking a little dazed, his face blushed.

"Well, I suppose we haven't found it, guess we've best just move on then, Darby, you have a ride home?"

Newton and Darby seemed to blink in unison.

"What?" Darby said.

"You're just leaving us like that?" Newt added.

"Yeah, it's our bookshop, we can decide who the Hell gets to be in or out," Crowley stepped behind his Angel, spitting from across the shorter man's head.

Newt got up in a clatter, placing down his cup. 

"V-very well, ah, see you later," He bolted out the door.

"Scaredy cat," Crowley muttered beneath his breath.

Darby got up slowly, placing the now empty mug next to Newt's deserted one.

"I still have 10 minutes to kill, and you two aren't going to do anything gross while I'm still here," he said.

Crowley groaned a little.

"Why can't he just wait outside again? " Crowley whined, "He likes the outside and space and stuff anyways,"

"Crowley, no!" Aziraphale seemed to have found his composure again.

"10 whole minutes, dove," He chided, looking down at him.

"10 minutes of keeping his innocence!"

Darby watched the two bicker, not as thoroughly confused as the two thought he would be. While it's true that he finds anything sexual disgusting, and doesn't want to actively find signs of someone being... You-know-what, but he's not oblivious.

"I thought Angels were sexless," Darby cut in.

The two fell silent in surprise.

"I-I- well- you see-"

"He's gone native a bit," Crowley patted his shoulder.

Darby gagged a little. Aziraphale looked up at him in shock. Crowley just wore a shit-eating grin at his lover's reaction.

After 10 minutes of torture for Crowley, Nimbus finally arrived to pick up Darby, and the two lovers could do whatever gross thing they wanted to do with their mushy body parts alone.


	8. Chapter 8

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i arise from the dead.....
> 
> still very sick helP-
> 
> (i think binge watching MASH or reading fanfiction when you should be asleep wasn't helping, G)  
> (shut it, G)

Crowley swirled the cup of half drunken coffee in his hands, making a mini whirlpool.

"Did you check the Bible?"

Aziraphale looked at him like he was an idiot.

"That's the first thing I went to," He exclaimed.

Morning light streaked through the windows of the upper flat, catching Crowley's untame hairdo, making the dark red turn crimson.

"What do you think Gabriel meant when he said those things?"

"I don't know, Crowley," His voice had turned annoyed.

"You think he meant yes by that?"

"I don't know!" Aziraphale collapsed into his desk chair, holding his head up by the forehead in a look of annoyance.

Aziraphale wasn't used to not knowing things, seeing how smart he was, he could always fix the pieces together. And now, to have the balance between your life hanging on the knowledge that he didn't know, it must be tough on him.

Crowley walked behind him and kissed the top of his head.

"You think Newton told Anathema?"

Aziraphale froze.

"Anathema!" He stood up abruptly, pushing back Crowley with his chair, not before smashing his jaw on the top of his head first.

They both groaned for a moment, Crowley holding his jaw, Aziraphale holding his head.

"S-sorry,"

"God, now I know what humans deal with every day,"

Angels and Demons do feel pain, sure, but in a much lower dose than humans do, making things like a hangnail feel like an odd itch you can't scratch. This was their first experience with real pain.

"I hope not every day," Aziraphale gave his head one final rub, before realising what got him so excited in the first place.

"Right! Anathema! Answers! C'mon!" Aziraphale grabbed Crowley's unoccupied hand, him still rubbing his sore jaw, and pulled him downstairs.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> aaaa sorry for the short chapter,  
> but i've been really sick, and i really need to sleep,  
> so just take this short kinda filler chapter as i try to figure out what went wrong with my fan fiction schedule.


	9. Chapter 9

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> haha hey i'm back wow.  
> uh.  
> i guess i've been preoccupied with my other fanfic,  
> because i kinda care more about that one, but this one has actual bookmarks, so i'll upload here :P

Anathema nodded her head.

"That makes sense - return the parties to the correct parents - although I'm not sure what to do about Adam, or the other family involved, but if you want your powers back, your gonna have to make some sacrifices,"

"Make... Sacrifices?" Aziraphale copied, anxiously.

"Well, less for you, and more everyone else involved, having to accept the kid they raised isn't theirs, or that they're getting sent away from another, which ends up with a foster family without a foster, and Adam in Hell, but if you really want your powers back.." Anathema further explained.

Aziraphale looked over to Crowley.

"Crowley, we can't do that to Adam, or Warlock, or anyone!" Aziraphale said, looking more anxious than before.

Crowley was just as worried, but he didn't show it.

"...What if we find a way to switch them back again?" 

"How will we get Adam out of Hell, and who knows what we're going to do about the foster family, we have no idea who they are or what they're like," 

"You guys always pull through somehow, and somehow get a happy ending," Anathema cut into the quarry. 

"I'm sure you could devise some type of plan,"

Aziraphale looked over to Crowley. He looked back.

They nodded.

"So, how are we going to do this?" 

" Well, we'll have to get Warlock over here, and another third party to D.C., and on top of that give Adam back to Hell, so let's start with the easier part. How are we getting Warlock over here? "

"Should we fill him in on everything?"

"How do you just ship someone away from their family?"

"What about another party, where Warlock, Adam, you two, us two, everyone else, all try to sort through this together?"

the three looked up from the table they were huddled over to Newt with a few cups of coffee in his hand.

"Hey, waiter boy, that isn't so bad," Anathema went up to him, kissing him and taking the cups.

"R-really?" 

Apparently he wasn't expecting to be considered.

"Sure, say we're having a party where Warlock is the guest of honour. I've seen the American Ambassador, and he's not the brightest, it should be easy to fool him,"

Newt blinked.

"Well, ok, then, I guess that does make sense," he grinned.

The party was set on Friday, four days for Warlock to get across the pond, and organize everything that needed organizing, get everyone together again, figure out a way to break it slowly, et cetera.

Most of the said doing was piled onto Anathema, mind you.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> soo i'm currently at my friend's place for a sleepover, so another short chapter, but once school starts up again, I should be able to get back into the swing of things.
> 
> if you like what i do, go check out my other fanfictions, for this fandom and others
> 
> thanks


	10. Chapter 10

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> wow what's this i'm back omg
> 
> sorry for the wait, school started, and it hit like a rock, especially since i'm trying to get high school applications and such in,but just bear with me
> 
> i'll get my schedule more planned out once September and around the first week of October passes.

Warlock took the whole _'These aren't your real parents, your real parents have the Antichrist for a son, oh by the way, Armageddon almost happened'_ pretty well.

For the most part, he was less upset about not having the correct parents or whatever, and more exited about the fact that Demon's exist (less Angels) and that the Antichrist was standing right in front of him, and him and the Antichrist like the same type of ice cream and other kid stuff.

Since the rest of The Then had things to do in the said event, it was just Warlock, Adam, Crowley, Aziraphale, Newt, Anathema, and Darby.

Darby felt like a third wheel in all of this- or maybe more like a seventh wheel, as the pair's of two went their separate ways to talk- the adults presumably about what to do with the two kids now, and the pre-teens to talk about other pre-teen stuff and the end of the world.

Darby at first thought about going over with the adults to help out in any way he could, but he felt like he wouldn't be taken in consideration seriously, and settled for introducing himself to the other two. 

"Hey, Darby," Adam waved him over after first noticing him approaching him and Warlock.

"This is Darby, my friend," He said, face as unemotional as ever.

"Darby's a weird name," Warlock said, less to be mean, and more that he seemed to just blurt out his thoughts.

_At least I'm not a DnD class._

Darby swallowed, and smiled, a little shallowness behind it.

"I didn't name me," He said, reaching up to grab his helmet, just to remember it was gone.

_Right._

Anathema suggested leaving it at home, something about not making a bad impression, and Darby, reluctantly, complied.

He should have realised the moment that Warlock _hadn't_ brung it up the first time they met.

Awkwardly, he flexed his hand, and rubbed his neck, as if his hand had meaning to be there.

"You smell like lemonade," Warlock suddenly blurted, looking him up and down.

"Uhh..."

"That's what it is!" Adam replied, a grin hinting at his lips.

Darby suddenly felt very uncomfortable.

"...Lemonade?" He replied. _What does lemonade even smell like?_

"Yeah, here, look, " Warlock grabbed his arm and shoved it up to his face, but was still gentle. 

Darby reluctantly sniffed, after recovering from a quick heart attack, and realised he did, in fact, smell like how lemonade tastes.

That settled a little uneasily in his stomach.

"Let me try," Adam said, grabbing his arm from Warlock's grip, making Darby almost stagger, but they were immediately pulled apart, sent down to the ground.

The three, when they were all touching, had made a large spark of white light electrocute around them, pushing them away with a _Zap!_

Everyone froze and turned to them.

"What the Hell was that?!" Crowley growled, less at someone to answer, and more just a rhetorical question, up for grabs if anyone happened to know said answer. 

The room remained silent.

That is, until Anathema went running into a report part of the cottage, mumbling something about her old witch books, and came back not a moment later, as if a twin of hers had gotten the book and entered just the moment she had left.

"What, what is it?" Aziraphale said, rushing forward to help Warlock, the closest to the Angel, up, but still keeping an ear open.

"Hold on, hold on!" Anathema said, still flipping from pages to pages, her fingers turning old paper loudly in the other worldly quiet of the room. 

She mumbled old forgotten words under her breath as she skipped a large chunk of the book back, and stopped suddenly on a page.

Her breath flowed through the air, taking the words gently off the page and opening it out of the thousands of years of preservation until this moment.

_When two are lost and one are found, hark worries when they collide. For then, and only then, when all three are found, will eternity be granted. Thou shalt find the three in a spray of snow that shocks the room, and thou world yet to follow._

"...What?" Warlock broke the silence at last.

"You," Aziraphale said, after managing to breath. He turned his head to look at the final kid still laying in the ground, having help up Adam.

Any breath Darby had in his lungs was gone as his theory was confirmed.

He hacked up dead air for a moment before strumming his chest to get in the needed fuel.

Everyone else just stared in silence as they watched the final blonde-haired boy choke on his own silence.


End file.
